7 january 2012
its a new year,but not really new year. for me every year is the same.
sorry for a long time i didnt update my blog. i was busy to set up weapon for my big exam that is SPM on last year. im back to be here because im free . nothing to do. my life was kind a bored :/
luckly,i have such so many friend that always accompany me everywhere that i went :) love you friends. totoro totoro !
here i want to share a lil bit about my life.gahh, all my friends know what was happen to me since this few days.bumblingbumbling, what i want to share to you all is about my lovely ex girlfriend. shes the only one for me :/ i guess because she is too good for me.
dear my E. if u read this post. im really sorry because i have to express my feeling here. i dont want to keep it on my heart. it will sick !
monday, 26th december 2011.
sorry i cant tell anybody what was she wrote on the text message.
i receive a text message from her at 5:51 am. that time i was sleeping.
i had reply her text at 11:42 am while listened to driving lecturer gave a speech.
i was kind a busy that time in driving school.i wait for her to reply my text.
but there was no answer. so, at night im sleep early. i couldnt wait any longer cause im really exhausted that day.
27th december 2011.
i text her on afternoon. she reply. we had a long conversation until she said she dont want to make a relationship with me anymore. she want to be a single girl. "malas" that is her answer.
i know that time she was in fever. sometime people who are in fever they will not be able to think maturedly.listen its on 27 december 2011 i was break up with her.after break also, she always mention my another ex girlfriend that is melissa tan. she want me to get back on her not she. this happen because, she think that i was miss my ex girlfriend. actually, im really really dont have any feeling anymore toward her ! that make me sad when she talk like that.
since that day, till 3rd of january everyday im texted her. but not like as usual.
just a few text per day. maybe she was busy get ready for school. she always ask me to find another girl. i was wondering why ? why ?? and why ??? could she said like that ? does my sin is too big ? goshh.i couldnt take it.time lapse. on that date 03/01/12 at 9pm i guess. i call her to propose her again for how many time i dont know -___- suddenly after we had a conversation on the phone she want to off and say bye to me. okey fine. then she send a text message like this
" You. I dah ada bf lah.You cari lah perempuan lain eh? Okay lah bye ;) "
emm, now i know why a week before we break up. she not even text but not also call me. only a few text. then no rply. she said that she was really scare for take PMR result. her mom scold her i guess because always text and hangout.but, in my mind im think negatively.she off her hp every day.only a few day i can txt .yah, i also remember she didnt have credit. i dont want topup for her because i scare that she will have another boy :( now,it become reality. no doubt.
ahh, so i know why she behave like that since a week before we break up.that time i was feel like my life was nothing. i was really angry that day. im update my status on facebook, my status was rude. yaa i know. i was in mad. i cant control emotion,my attitude.
im really sorry for that. it is my mistakes.i had embarrassed her in public. i should not behave like that. yes ! it is my fault. for those people who are always push me to find another girl. i couldnt accept it. i must redeem my fault. i want to show that she is not a girl like i said.
shes very good girl.
since that,i always remember my fault that i did to her. i really love her :'/
everyday im thinking about it. when time for eat. i really dont have appetite.im thinking of her. what she do,does she okey, does she still remember at me ?
on 5th january 2012 .
the day that im waiting. i call her for the first time after the world war on facebook at 3rd january 2012 . but she reject my call for so many times. im really dissapointed. doesnt matter she dont want pickup my call. im useless to her. she block my call with her phone. so i cant call her now. when i call, the operator will say the number is BUSY. so i knew it no more calls. then, i went mapley for eat. suddenly she call me. i went to the hidden place because its freaking noisy here. we had a conversation again.
that time, she mad at me. she scold me ! but im always act like i was strong. but im not.
my hand shaking . tears falling down. im glad that no people saw me there. huhh !
now, the conversation continue after i at playground. i can hear her voice like start to cry. i dont know if she crying or not. she didnt tell me. but i can feel. oh maybe just my feeling -__-
im crying that time because of my fault. everything is my fault. if not for that . we still will be a lover until now. im crying because i love her. i need her. she was my strenght. everything i did, i will remember her. she can make me to stop miss my ex that i mention above. now i really miss you my new ex. hope you will get back to me. i hate to turn up of the blue. i hope i can meet u one day.
but, i must forget it. u hate me so damn much. i surrender for this time. i hope u apologize my fault. i just want to make friend with u. but u dont want. u have a new boyfriend. he is your old friend. he is also my ex girlfriend ex boyfriend. if u read this, i hope your heart will open to me again. doesnt matter how long must i wait. my heart always open for you. at least, one text can make me happy ;)
* too many grammar mistakes,do i care?*
i will always remember you,this is my first and last post for you.maybe.
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